Transpooper Pee.

Oh, no, no, no. I meant "Transporter 3".....

Sucked so bad I was surprised there was any air left in the theater when it was over. A crapfest of EPIC proportions. I am not exaggerating.

I really took one for the team going to see this gigantic turd last night. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm okay with action movies - I sat through the last 2 Transporter flicks with Jimbo - the first one on DVD, and the second in theaters, (and then repeatedly on cable because Jim had the clicker - it was out of my control.) and I liked them just fine. Jason Statham is some SERIOUS eye candy. So I brought this all on myself when I said, "Sure babe. Whatever you want to see is fine with me."

I think they went too far making this third installment.

The only redeeming factor is that Mr. Statham was shirtless many times.

Allow me to break down the numbers for you:

Number of times "Frank Martin" had to fight multiple hench men all by himself: 3

Number of times his shirt was either ripped off or taken off voluntarily: 4 (oh, mommy likey - might have been 5.....things get fuzzy for me when it comes off.)

Number of times his Audi took an impossible flying leap that should have killed him or at least rendered the car undriveable: COUNTLESS.

Number of cheesy "Holy CRAP that was stupid, who writes this stuff" lines the bad guy had: Like, 12

Number of times I looked at my husband and said "Really! Really??! Is this what we're doing?!": probably 10

Hours of my life I will never get back: almost 2

It was very, very, very bad, and I wanted to kick my own ass for agreeing to see it. Jim is SOOO sitting through a chick flick this week.