Obsessive-Compulsive Meets Patience.

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a bit of a clean freak - especially at home. Chalk it up to a mother who was a complete nazi when it came to being tidy.

I am, as I sit here and type this blog, ready to freak the hell out. My home is filthy with chunks of ceiling everywhere, its noisy, and my chihuahua is a ball of nerves.

Today there are roofers on my roof.

I was not expecting roofers on my roof today.

I discovered them in the shower this morning. I could hear them up there, but they're awful fast, and as the skylight directly above me was being ripped out of the ceiling, there were at least three guys speaking spanish and laughing very loudly. Awkward, to say the least.

So back to the chunks of ceiling. Its everywhere, and there's not much I can do about it till they quit for the day. This is a HUGE problem for me. HUGE. It's all I can do to sit here and wait. I want to vaccuum so bad I can't stand it.

Bewteen the mess, the noise, and the dog barking so hard all four feet come off the floor......I suddenly feel entitled to a drink.

Christmas Dinner and the Houdini Dog.

Riley the Super Chihuahua has a new name.
"Houdini Dog".....

Let me back up a little.

The other day, Rebekah and I, at Jim's request, purchased a little hoodie for the dog. He's 6 lbs of skin and bone, and he ssshhhivvvvers like he's going to freeze to death, whether its 20 degrees or 100 outside.
He let us put it on him without a fight, and then sat there in disgust as we laughed at him.
Needless to say, he hates it, and when no one is looking, he manages to get out of it, leaving it right side out, and sometimes it even looks like he folded the damn thing for me! Talk about giving me the finger!

So on to Christmas dinner! It turned out very well, considering the outdated tiny-ness of my kitchen! it got a little crazy but in the end, it was worth the struggle!
I even got to use the buffet that came with our dining room table. Very exciting.

Ah, that roast was the BOMB!

Considering this is what I've got to work with in the way of kitchen appliances,
I think I really pulled off a feast! The only redeeming quality about this range
is the double oven action going on here. The rest of it? Blegch!

Someday, I'll have that chef's kitchen
I've always dreamed of.
Till then, well, back to the crock pot!

Mama Cashes In.

FIRST ORDER OF BLOGGER BUSINESS: I got my diamond earrings for Christmas!! Right On!!
I'm kind of a "kept woman" these days.

My sweet baby girl got me a wicked awesome pair of Snoopy VS The Red Baron pajama bottoms and some fuzzy blue slippers to match - ADORABLE.

She and Jimbo decided to get me a super shnazzy french beret - they were in agreement that the one I've been wearing makes me look "like a little old lady"......whatever. This new one IS pretty cool, though. I'm looking forward to wearing in public for the sole purpose of embarrassing them to no end. I look pretty bad ass in it.

Documentation of dinner to come! It turned out pretty darn good, if I may say so myself. I shall be called, from this day forward, "The Pot Roast Queen."

A True Christmas Miracle.

Somebody alert the media. Yours truly will be attempting to make the family Christmas Feast this year.

Starting at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning, I'm doing the cookin' for the Garrison clan.

This may not seem like a big deal, but with the dilapidated, run down, ratty-ass 60's kitchen I've got, it should prove to be a real interesting day.

Thank Heaven for crock pots, because it'll be roast all the way, kids.

And trust me - there will be pictures taken to document this unprecedented occasion! And of course, a blog posting!!!

Jim's Company Christmas Party.

Somehow, I managed to upload pictured of Jimbo's company Christmas party, without pictures of Jimbo! I don't know what the heck happened to them.

But here are a few highlights....

I officially LOOOVE his co-worker, Bryan. He's a scream. Very flamboyant, cheerleader & cheerleading coach, loves getting pedicures. He's just adorable and I think he's my new BFF.

I caught him eating cake here.

Now, lets talk about Jim's boss, Tate. Oh, my. Very handsome. I'm pretty sure after a few drinks I was following him around like a puppy. He's a western Kansas boy (mmmm...hmmmhmmm) and one tall, cool drink of water. And a drummer......need I say more?

And his wife, Jackie is just the biggest sweetheart! I was hoping before I met her that she'd be a real horse's ass, but NO! I love her! Dang. That makes it so much harder to oggle over the boss.

Virginia played it low key this time. She stayed off the hooch and I think she probably found it much easier to get up the next day.

Transpooper Pee.

Oh, no, no, no. I meant "Transporter 3".....

Sucked so bad I was surprised there was any air left in the theater when it was over. A crapfest of EPIC proportions. I am not exaggerating.

I really took one for the team going to see this gigantic turd last night. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm okay with action movies - I sat through the last 2 Transporter flicks with Jimbo - the first one on DVD, and the second in theaters, (and then repeatedly on cable because Jim had the clicker - it was out of my control.) and I liked them just fine. Jason Statham is some SERIOUS eye candy. So I brought this all on myself when I said, "Sure babe. Whatever you want to see is fine with me."

I think they went too far making this third installment.

The only redeeming factor is that Mr. Statham was shirtless many times.

Allow me to break down the numbers for you:

Number of times "Frank Martin" had to fight multiple hench men all by himself: 3

Number of times his shirt was either ripped off or taken off voluntarily: 4 (oh, mommy likey - might have been 5.....things get fuzzy for me when it comes off.)

Number of times his Audi took an impossible flying leap that should have killed him or at least rendered the car undriveable: COUNTLESS.

Number of cheesy "Holy CRAP that was stupid, who writes this stuff" lines the bad guy had: Like, 12

Number of times I looked at my husband and said "Really! Really??! Is this what we're doing?!": probably 10

Hours of my life I will never get back: almost 2

It was very, very, very bad, and I wanted to kick my own ass for agreeing to see it. Jim is SOOO sitting through a chick flick this week.

Idiot of the Day Award.....

Goes to this kid right here.

Today at work, I was standing in the middle of a room full of advertising sales reps, awaiting some instructions.

While I waited, I noticed some Christmas decor attached to some garland, and decided to touch THEM, with the palm of my hand. Cupping them ever so gently, palm up, I suddenly realized they were the ONLY CHRISTMAS BALLS STRUNG ANYWHERE on that garland.....and then it occurred to me that these TWO SHINY BLUE BALLS were hung there as a dirty little inside joke by someone, and I HAD BEEN STANDING THERE, FONDLING THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM. !!!!!!!!!!

I looked around to see if anyone had noticed, and immediately felt very dirty and stupid.

Naive much? Yes. Yes I am.

I Hate the Kansas Cold & The Snow.

Chihuahuas don't dig it, either. This one, otherwise known as "Riley The Super Chihuahua," spent most of the day under a blanket, with his nose out just far enough to keep himself in the know. Getting him to go outside and take care of business in this kind of Kansas weather takes an act of Congress.

I don't so much mind the cold, but the wicked wind and the snow and ice I can do without.

That poor Mexican river rat with his butt parked on my couch agrees.

I Found This and Had to Share!

Freshly-borned Capuchin is a skosh grumpy

One-day-old baby Capuchin monkey:

"It is ENTIRELY too bright out here! Turn out the lights! Get me a sleep mask, SOMETHING! OMG PEOPLE!"

I found this and the quote at Cute Overload, while parooooozing some random blogs. I thought it was funny as hell.

Three Blogs in One.

First order of business, the oddly tall, skinny, borderline "Charlie Brown" Garrison Family Christmas tree. Its a thing of beauty.

I wanted one of those sad, knotty pine type trees.....this is as close as we got. It's 7 feet of a whole lotta weirdness. Pre-lit, too.
So I added some ribbon and some fake berry stuff and BAM. We've got a true Holiday Oddity.
I love it. Its as unusual as I am, so it fits in nicely at our house. I just hope my Jimbo knows how much better it would look with diamond earrings under it. Am I right, ladies?!?

Second bit of blogginess....

I came to the startling realization the other day that I am as old as Disney World. Okay, well, I think its got a year on me. It Opened October 1, 1971, I was born August 10, 1972. That's close enough to make me feel REAL old.
I have also discovered that my bathroom cabinets and cosmetic bags are full of "Age Defying" products. When the hell did THAT happen?!????

Third bit of bloggy goodness....

Back on my Christmas music rant - After careful consideration, I have decided the only acceptable Christmas song is "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" sung ONLY by Vince Gill. That dude has the voice of an angel.
I have to come clean, though.....I have taken a liking to the old Dolly Parton tune, "Hard Candy Christmas."